It’s been a long time. How is everyone doing?
For me, staying completely out of Tumblr for a while have been the better choice of me. I’ve found solace in PSO2 and I’ve gained a bit of confidence and positivity since I started playing which is good for me I suppose, I stress way less over people writing hate about me under a read more and made me feel like an outcast of the fandom, among a lot of other things which I won’t mention because I’m not here to write/think about things that will put me in the same anxiety as before.
The main reason why I’m making this post is to apologize to everyone whom I am/was true friends with from Tumblr, you see, things were really tough for me last year… People I considered friends betrayed me more than many occasions, spitted things without me knowing, turned against me because of a rumor, or previous friends not knowing when to back off when I needed space. I constantly got hate asks about things I liked and despite turning Anonymus off, there was someone making an account just to send me shit. I got sick of it. People claimed that they loved me but all I saw was their actions which contradicted in their words. I became more and more depressed due to real life situations, Doctors telling me everything is okay and therefor I can live with these tremendous ongoing pain, family breaks, a person I do not ever want to see again became pretty much a permanent guest in this house, then a breaking point where I had suicidal tendencies everywhere. Everything became unbearable and then a major incident happened which made me leave the fandom for good(or idk, maybe I’ll come back when I hear better words of the fandom.) I was way too stressed over that as well. That was tbh a major blow and I honestly don’t care if that certain person will say that I’m taking on a victim role (Most likely, knowing what the person writes..) but that honestly was the point where I did not know who to trust or turn to.
So leaving and not knowing who I’d stay in contact with that didn’t dislike me, I deleted nearly everyone off of everything I ever knew, and if that hurted you, I’m sorry. Truth to be told, I miss the fun we had. Skype calls, chatting and being just wonky batshit crazy over the slighest idea popping up in our minds. I hope that one day we can have that again, that is, if you guys forgive me for just completely cutting things off without as much as an explanation. Just know that I wasn’t mad at you or didn’t like you or anything like that.
Nobody probably cares but yeah, I had to write it. If you want to talk, feel free to readd me to skype or something. Or line if you got that. Or Facebook. Whichever works.